Only a Kiss
by CJtheCregg
Summary: Season.. 5? What if Lorelai hadn't walked in on Rory and Dean? Not a happy ending. Well, not AWFUL. But not all happy happy for Dean and Rory. Read and you shall see : Jacey's Back


**Title: **Only a Kiss

**Author:** Jacey  
**Rating:** shrugs it mentions sex…. And I'll apologize in advance to anyone who's offended by taking god's name in vain. So… what, like… PG 13?  
**Summary:** How Rory might have felt after sleeping with Dean, if Lorelai hadn't walked in.  
**A/N:** Kay, the song is, obviously Mr Brightside. This isn't a song fic. It uses one or two verses of the song, to get the feeling across.. mostly because it just FITS. But it isn't in any way a song fic. (There used to be more of the song in here.. but then this site went psycho ;) )  
**Disclaimer:** Obviously, the song belongs to The Killers, and GG belongs to the WB and others. I don't own either. Just usin' and abusin'.

_Coming out of my cage  
And I've been doin' just fine  
Gotta gotta be down  
Because I want it all  
It started out with a kiss  
How did it end up like this?  
It was only a kiss  
It was only a kiss _

As she clutched the bed sheets to her naked chest, Rory Gilmore started to feel slightly sick. The afterglow had worn off the second that Dean had gotten out of bed, and put his wedding ring back on, to go home to his… wife. And as that word sunk in, a torrent of horrifying thoughts... consequences fell upon her.  
What had she done? He was MARRIED. He had a… wife! A wife! She knew his wife… and as much as she didn't like Lindsey – or really know her – she couldn't understand how she'd done this to her.. to them. She couldn't believe that a kiss had turned into… this mess.

She wrapped the sheet around her body and swung her legs out of bed, and trying not to trip over the loosely flapping ends, she walked towards the door that Dean had just walked out of.

'Dean….' She said quietly.  
'Yeah?' he replied, looking back at her.  
She sighed. "This was…..'  
'A mistake.' He finished for her.  
She hung her head, and pulled the sheet tighter. "Yeah.'

He stood in the doorway, torn between going home and forgetting what he'd just done, and turning back to Rory…  
He took a step towards her, and then paused when he saw the pain in her eyes. "I'm sorry.' He whispered. "I'm so sorry…'

She looked up at him, and he was reminded of how she'd looked at him the first time he'd been attracted to her. A shy girl, with hair softly falling over her big blue eyes. "I'm sorry too.' She said, before pulling the slipping sheet back up. "I should….' She waved her hand towards her bedroom.. the room where they'd just broken everything that he thought he believed in. Love... marriage… vows. "I should go get changed. I have to go back to the Inn before Mom comes looking for me.'

'Ok….' He said, letting his sentence trail off. "I'm gonna… go. I guess, I'll see you around huh?'

Rory smiled at him weakly. 'Guess so.'

And he walked out the door.

She stood in the middle of the hallway, still wrapped in a sheet, with tears running down her face. And in that second, the anger broke out. She stormed into her room and threw off the sheet, ripping the remaining ones on the bed off as well.  
She yanked her robe off the rook on her door, and burst into hysterical tears as she tied the belt. Shaking her head, she dragged her fists across her red eyes, and grabbed the bundle of sheets and headed up to the laundry to put them into the machine.

God damn it! How could she have been so stupid! So.. so… selfish! She reached blindly for the washing powder, and then watched as if tumbled off the shelf and spilt over the floor. Bursting into tears again, she fell to her knees, and lent against the washing machine, with her knees up against her chest and hot tears spilling over her cheeks.

And that was how Lorelai found her, 15 minutes later. Curled up in a ball on the laundry floor; tears streaming down her face, and choking on her breathe.

Instantly, Lorelai was on her knee's beside Rory, and had pulled her towards her – cradling her like she had when she'd been a baby. 

'Mommy…' Rory choked out, as she lifted her head to look up at Lorelai. "Mommy… I did something stupid.'

Lorelai shook her head, and rocked Rory slightly. "It's ok sweetie. It's gonna be ok.'

A fresh round of tears started, and Rory trembled. "No.. no. NO! It's not gonna be ok. I've ruined everything! I t was me! I ruined it!' She broke off, tears still falling. "I stole someone's husband.'

_And I just can't look  
It's killing me  
And taking control _

What seemed like hours later, Rory felt her mom nudge her slightly. The tears had long since stopped, but her head was throbbing, and her eyes stung when she opened them.

"Ok sweets, mommy's arm has fallen asleep. Let's go and put you to bed, ok?' Lorelai whispered, brushing Rory's hair back from her face.

Rory's eyes opened again, this time in shock. Bed? No.. no.. no. No! Not there! Not where she'd done… that!' The thought made her sick in the stomach.

"No…' she whimpered slightly. "No… Not there.'  
Lorelai turned her head slightly, a puzzled expression crossing her face. "Ok… well, how about I get you tucked in, all warm and tight, in my bed, hmmm?'

Rory nodded, 'Ok Mom..'

Soon, Rory was bundled up in Lorelai's bed, surrounded by cushions and blankets, and a steaming cup of coffee on the bedside cabinet.

Lorelai was pacing at the end of the bed. "Do you..'

She frowned, and continued walking the room. "Was….'

She sighed, and stopped moving. "Rory? When you want to talk…. Just let me know.'

Rory smiled slightly "Ok.'

"Ok. Ok.' Lorelai nodded. "Sweetie, I have to go back to the inn. You know I'd stay if I could... but with the test run, and naked Kirk, and Luke….' She trailed off.

The haze that was still settling in her mind, lifted momentarily, and Rory looked slightly puzzled "You know, I won't even ask about why Kirk's naked.'

"Wise idea. I don't even know.' Lorelai replied, smirking. "Do you want me to call Lane? See if she can come over and keep you company?'

Rory shook her head wildly as the panic set back in. "No. No… no way. I wouldn't.. I couldn't…'  
Lorelai nodded, "Ok sweet pea. Just get some rest ok? My phone's on me, so call if you need anything.'

"Kay.' Rory said, sinking back down into the blankets, as Lorelai walked out the door.

_I'm coming out of my cage  
And I've been doin' just fine  
Gotta gotta be down  
Because I want it all  
It started out with a kiss  
How did it end up like this?  
It was only a kiss  
It was only a kiss _

She woke up, throwing up.

Her mind was spinning, her face covered in tears, and her breathe coming out in shuddering gasps.

All of a sudden, the world felt like it was tumbling down around her. She had tried to reason with herself, tried to tell herself that it wasn't so bad… and she just kept coming back to the part where she hated herself for what she'd done.

Oh, she knew that eventually she'd forgive herself, she'd forgive him for letting it happen. She'd forgive him to marrying someone else… she'd forgive herself for thinking she still loved him. But not yet.

So she cried, and she screamed. And she cut her hand open throwing a glass at the mirror. She got so sick of talking to person after person… Lorelai, Lane, a psychologist, even Luke… that she thought she might give up talking altogether. She spent weeks walking around in a daze, hating the world for being so happy, so carefree… so darn sunny and cheerful. And she kept saying it'd be okay. It'd end… and it didn't.

_I never  
I never  
I never  
I never….._

But then one morning she woke up……. and it was all okay.

_finito._

**23/10/05: Note:**_ WOW! Have to admit, I'm kinda disappointed.. 101 hits since I uploaded it yesterday, and only 3 reviews.. and one doesn't count, cause it's form my best friend, and she HAS to review ;) _

_Come on guys, feedback is loved!_


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